Pleasant Grove Baptist Student Ministry
Thursday, August 17, 2017
Reaching, Teaching and Discipling

Parent Toolbox

Hey Parents,
Every couple of weeks you will receive tools within this link that will hopefully encourage you, equip you and give you some direction concerning problems, issues, or just things to ponder as you deal with your teen.  Please know we are always available for help, direction or those moments when you just need someone to listen.
My personal cell is 864-350-7785.
Standing with you,
Pastor Anthony

This Weeks Topic:  Teaching Your Teen Responsibility, Part 1
We meet again!
I'm sure you probably struggle with the fact that your teens rarely show responsibility in many areas of their life.  In fact when we look at our culture we see that there are many adults today who somehow missed those lessons on responsibility growing up. As parent's we need to do our best to see that our children learn this very important life lesson!  Here are just a few handy tips to guide your pre-teen or teen toward becoming more responsible.
1. Set expectations. There is no time to waste with this one! Make sure expectations are reasonable, and not impossible; setting expectations too high will end up exasperating both you and your teen.
2. Make a chore list. It’s never too late to start up a chore list! Discuss it as a family, and place the list somewhere conspicuous. However, be warned; no teen likes chores and following through won’t be easy. When your teen fails to complete assigned chores, establish consequences—like taking away their cell phone for a day. Your commitment to this will reap a harvest of good.  
One thing that we have implemented with our boys is that certain chores earn an allowance each week.  Cleaning the bathroom earns $2, while mowing the backyard pays them $5.  This is their money for spending on things like going to movies with friends or even on dates.  We are attempting to not only teach them responsibility but at the same time the value of hard work.  The one hook that we use in all of this is that payday is every Saturday but if the other chores that are not paid items such as cleaning their room are not finished, they don't get paid for the paid ones until it is accomplished.
3. Bring your teen into adult household decisions. After eating out at a restaurant, have your teen work out the tip (discussing it with you, of course). When your family is going to purchase something big—like a car or an appliance—bring them into the process and ask for his or her opinion. Planning a vacation? Let your teen do some research!
Our family, well maybe not mom lol, have become avid skiers.  My boys have skied since they were 4 & 6 years of age and this Christmas one requested his own skis.  We skied 4-5 times this season and now they are wanting, I should say "begging" to go out west to ski.  After repeatedly saying NO because of price, I told our oldest that we would not discuss it anyfurther until he had researched a budget of what it would cost for the trip.  This included travel, lodging, meals and lift tickets.  To my surprise he has figured everything down to the penny.  Whether the trip will take place is still up for discussion but it has been a great learning experience for he and his brother. (They are now asking for that as part of their Christmas present, so we will see.)
4. Reward your teen for responsible behavior. This isn’t bribery but letting your teen know when they live up to their end of the deal you are aware and proud. Appreciative words, a pat on the back, or even a couple of movie tickets for your teen and a friend will speak volumes and reinforce future responsible behavior.
Above all, let your teen know you trust them. When they try hard to make responsible decisions, respond by trusting those decisions. This one is hard—but it’s where your teen will grow the most. This is one I struggle with and am working on myself because of the fact that my oldest and I are so much alike.  It can be especially hard when you see so much of yourself in your child and still remember the poor decisions you made but when your teen knows you trust them, they will be more apt to be responsible in the future.
I hope this parenting topic has been encouraging and possibly even challenging! I’m honored to walk this journey with you, and I am praying for you as you work toward teaching your teen responsibility. Stand firm and trust God! He will never leave you nor forsake you . . . or your teen.
Please check out this week’s online parenting class:
With your family in mind,
Pastor Anthony